Can I help you!?

At a lounge bar of a 3 star hotel. This is a ‘room service’ phone call;

• Guest – Do you have beer
• Bartender – Yes
• Guest – Do you have canned Guinness?
• Bartender – (colleague confirms) Yes
• Guest – Can I have canned Guinness?
• Bartender – how many bottles of canned Guinness do you want?
• Guest – 3
• Bartender – 3
• Guest – Yes
• Bartender – OK

I was not so sure the bartender understood the last question. Surprisingly, somehow the guest and bartender understood each other perfectly.

 

 

I am in a place that is so unique.

Almost everywhere, there is a mask that is worn on a lot of people’s faces. I have come to recognize and, sometimes, love these people that wear these masks so nobly. These masks share some unique features and characteristics and it is these that makes this place distinguishable from most other places.

As if the mask does not conceal enough of what is really behind it, the uncertainty about what lies behind the mask is further shrouded in distrust between the wearers of the masks.

This place is full of people that hail from several hundreds of tribes, that speak hundreds of languages and dialects. In the most, co-existing with one another is just the norm.

This place was once a shimmer and, in some many other ways, still is. But for lack of effort, the shimmer fades and few care to reach out and bring it back. Rather, there is a tendency to recreate the shimmer and allow the old shimmer fade. However, the mask shrouds the faded shimmer and offers its very own shimmer.

This place is almost lawless and, for the average person or faint-hearted, it can be very uncaring.

If you want an experience of a lifetime, you should come to this place.

This place is where almost everyone has a smile that conjures out of nowhere. You are no longer an outsider when you come here because you either have your own mask or you get one while you are here. It is the one you get while you are here that helps you belong and survive the place.

Get a one while you are here and you will almost certainly come back.

Be prepared once you get your mask, another mask wearer will offer you a thin veil. You may accept it. The veil is what obscures the mask further and breeds the distrust of other mask wearers. Ironically, it is for this reason only that the other mask wearer offered you the thin veil. It is from that moment you start to truly belong.

Somehow, I am in love with this place even if it can be uncaring to me and distrusts me. After all, I am an average person with a mask. I have survived Nigeria and so will you.

Adieu Michael Jackson and….Those people!

Death is always a sad affair. This one resonates more because it is that of a household name, one that has come to be known and loved the world over for all his endeavours.

Many of us grew up listening to MJ and cast our mind back to the days like when LWT [Lagos Weekend Television] would air MJ musical videos repeatedly to our delight.

This is when we put our differences aside and pay tribute to a real legend in his own right.

This is also when we give recognition to those people in our communities who die every day as a result , directly or indirectly, of their circumstances, in particular abject poverty. Those people receive minimal recognition for their painstaking endurance and agony in their lifetime. Those people are always on my mind, more so now.

Those people are my heroes.

This is a tribute to all those people who, but for their respective circumstances, may very well be alive today.

Perhaps like many, I find the indefinite strike action disconcerting and disappointing.

The academic year is drawing to a close, with impending exams to round off the year.  Much effort, on the part of students and indeed their lecturers, has gone into preparation for this annual finale – exams.   With an indefinite strike action comes uncertainty for the students which, in itself, is undue pressure that will serve to hinder progress and effectively derail any scheduled plans post academics.

Just about boarding a flight from London to Abuja, I asked a crew member welcoming passengers on board what the chances of an upgrade were because I missed the bulkhead / emergency exit seats and standing at 6ft 3” tall, it is a struggle squishing myself in my allocated seat for the night, what with the DVT and I went on.  The steward, who must have heard this before from other passengers or perhaps me,  kindly took my boarding pass stub and told me he will send someone over as soon as all passengers boarded.

It was a hot and sunny afternoon in Rouen, France and the next intercity train to Paris was not due for over an hour.

What to do, I pondered and looked across the road from the train station at the Hotel De Dieppe.  I crossed the road and entered the lounge of the hotel.  As is typical in most places in France, after 2pm lunch is near non-existent, so I decided to whet the whistle instead.